Boys, Men, Husbands and Fathers have real value and are instrumental to the solutions needed in our communities. There are ideas, behaviors and beliefs that shape males that start very early in his life. I believe that this shaping of males has happened without really fully examining the patterns, habits and circumstances that lead to the men we see today. I’m often asked why our males are so soft, weak, whiny, irresponsible and violent. There are growing numbers of this male profile/demographic that can be seen emerging from several areas of influence including TV images and Music icons. Responsibility in relationships and fatherhood provision sometimes get blurred yet we miss a number of issues surrounding our boys in what they need to become healthy men, husbands and fathers. There may be many who will not like my take on this phenomenon and they may disagree. While some may want to pontificate their response, I’m open to defending my observations.
I’m very much aware of the confusion taking place in the lives of boys and the activities that intentionally reduce his testosterone production levels. Some of the biggest culprits of this emasculating process includes video gaming, ADHD drugs, and the lack of play. In fact, boys are often subjected to all three of these processes just to tame him. Look closely at the patterns, this is just the beginning. Consider how education took play out of school and the boys have paid the biggest price. Now boys are constantly preached at to sit down! Because when he’s active, that’s when systems shift to telling you (the parent) that he has a problem. If we were really paying attention, this would be the point where we see the second phase of emasculating the boy (not in every household but in most).
Let’s start at home. The average black and brown boy is not reading proficiently by 8th grade. The statistics show three of four Black Boys in California failed to meet reading and writing standards. Levels in most recent rounds of testing according to data obtained in 2019 by Calmatters.org. The lack of male teachers also plays a part in this retreat of males. When education fails to provide images of healthy male models in education and fails to provide proper outlets for the activities needed to stimulate engagement we often fail them too.
Part of the break down is in parenting failure. Boys endure conversations around healthy masculinity, gender equity and face few healthy fathers in the home to help them model positive male identity. These things impact his life more than anyone is willing to admit. His education and images of home life are often dominated by women and this becomes his preparation. The symptoms of high female influencers is very damaging to boys. Boys do not even talk for themselves; their mothers and sisters interpret for them. The female influencers tell them how to dress, talk, and tend to make most decisions for the boys and males in their lives ultimately silencing the fathers’ voice. Female influencers tend to call their males’ job, go to court and even show up in divorce court for them. The female influencers even tell their males how to date. Female influencers continue to influence males even when they still want a man for themselves that is rugged, providing, athletic and not a pushover or too nice.
A recent article in Urologytimes.com shows from 1999-2016 testosterone levels have declined in adolescent and young adult men (AYA). According to results presented at the 2020 American Logical Association Virtual Experience, the causes for male declining levels include Body Mass Index, diabetes, smoking and decline in exercise and physical activity. There is a solution. Find and enroll our boys into mentorship programs. At EMIY Inc. we teach our boys balance and let them speak for themselves in our EMIY Future Leaders program. They experience accountability, speaking skills, exercise, community service, reading, memory skills and build confident. They develop with play and we see immediate results after 14 weeks in our programs.Reach out to Calvin T. Mann President and Founder of